Strength

More than You I loved my strength
Please show me how to live
As if it were forever true
That all my weakness You forgive

More than this You delight
In every "impossible" thing
And long to display Your power
As to You I cling

I choose my weakness over strength
So that I can love You more
And I will ever even boast
As on Your wings I soar

Weakness

Beautiful weakness, leave me not
Help me to understand
Life is more than "ought"
More than expectations
And all that I've been taught

Do not turn, my struggling soul
To hardness in your defense
Rather, trust in God, my soul
And not self-recompense

Softness stay
Leave bitterness behind
Meekness stand
And in your beautiful weakness find
His strength, and to it bind
My heart and soul and mind

Misplaced Love

Tell me, show me
What do I love more than You?
That my eyes remain here
Seeing only the pollution of worry
What do I love more than You?
That my heart remains here
Unawakened by Your grace and mercy
What do I love more than You?
That my thoughts remain here
Reluctant to think upon imperishable things
What do I love more than You?
That my hands remain here
Unwilling to hold Yours

Misplaced love
Careless sight
Fix your eyes above
On the warming light
Which heals the heart
And pierces the dark
In this you can stay
Gazing on Him
Always

Fear and Hope

With faces covered by our hands
We walk alongside
Those others in sightless trance
And in self-made darkness, we abide

Hearing one voice cry out
Of the unknown space
In desperation she shouts
With hands covering her face

Will no one let down
Their fingers from their eyes
Stooping for the crown
That in its glory always tries
To help the one, in vain, who cries

There is but One
From Whom help arrives
Seek, find the One
Who saves our lives

There! He knocks!
With free, unburdened hand
Blessed is the one who unlocks
The key to their hands
To gaze upon
The most beautiful face
Put down your hands!
Let your fingers unlace!

The woman has found
The strength to let down
Her fleshly gates
Knowing only grace waits
And opening eyes
She sees and she cries
Tears of great joy
That never shall cloy
As He grasps her hands
And tells her of plans
Of peace and His love
And His Helper Dove

Now she sees
We waste away our lives
With trembling hands
Covering our eyes

The greatest news in all the world is that there is no final conflict between my passion for joy and God's passion for his glory.

WOW.

John Piper speaking truth.

I just read this article by John Piper entitled "The Goal of God's Love May Surprise You" (which contained the title of my blog).

For a while now I've been thinking hard about God's love. What the heck do we do with it. How can we do anything to pay Him back...or demonstrate it....or show Him how much we love Him in return?

How....

David wanted to build a temple. God denied Him, but granted that through David's line the temple would be built...and that God would be with David forever.

David know the presence of the Lord was his good...and was the one best thing.

"ONE THING I have asked from the LORD, that I shall seek, that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD, and to meditate in His temple." (Psalm 27:4)

David's deepest joy was in God's love...not in the pursuit of loving Him back.


Paul wrote, "For me to live is Christ and to die is gain." (Philippians 1:21)

Though he knew his labor on earth would be fruitful and profitable for many, he knew his deepest joy was found with Christ in full revelation of His glory--not in what he could do for Christ.

It feels sometimes like sometimes I'm trying sooooooo hard to hug God, but I can't even get my arms around His pinky. Not even close. There's just not enough of me to love God through obedience...or expression....or anything. I just have to let myself be enveloped in the unfathomable greatness of His love, not even being able to see all of it....let alone imitate it well enough to get joy from my own efforts.


"God demonstrates His own love for us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans 5:8)

"For I say that Christ has become a servant to the circumcision on behalf of the truth of God to confirm the promises given to the fathers, and for the Gentiles to glorify God for His mercy." (Romans 15:8,9a)

"I will give thanks to you, O Lord my God, with all my heart, And will glorify Your name forever. For Your lovingkindness toward me is great, And You have delivered my soul from the depths of Sheol." (Psalm 86:12,13)

Nanako and Yuuki in California!

A list about this weekend!!!

I loved:

-Seeing Nanako and Yuuki!!!!
-Seeing Liz and Susan!!!!
-Going rollerskating with them and Liz
-BONFIRE!
-Talking with Joni and Joanna about Japan
-Joni's amazing apartment and her car
-Driving in Joni's car (named Tex) behind a trailer with "Big Tex" painted on it
-Talking with Susan, Liz, Yuuki, Walter, Amy, and Joanna at the bonfire
-Looking for seashells (kai wa totemo kirei kata yo!)
-Playing frisbee at the beach
-Talking about Arnold Schwartzeneggar commercials for California in Japan (He speaks Japanese in them!!! California nandemo aru-fornia--I think that's how it goes...haha :)
-Attending UC Irvine Navs
-Meeting many new wonderful people!
-Talking about Japan
-Talking in Japanese
-Laughing in Joni's apartment with Nanako, Yuuki, Joni, Joanna, and Liz
-Randomly seeing Italian people every time I went to the airport O_O


I told you people I would be more excited after sleeping... :D

Cho tanoshikata yo!

Nanako to Yuuki!!!! California ni kitekurete arigatou!!!!

A Day...

Prayer, communication, classes, exam, Italian resume, Italian tutoring, trying to speak in Italian and English at the same time (to two different people), EDGE Corps interview, coordination for going to California this weekend, packing for California this weekend, driving between my mom's house and school...

Today was sort of intense. Good. Busy. Draining. Productive. A little nerve-wracking.

In Japan, one of the staff asked me, "Wouldn't you rather be tired from doing good than from doing evil?" Yes. Yes, I would. But I'd much rather not be exhausted. Lately I've been contemplating this...

I know today looked the way it was supposed to look...and was full of many exciting things. Things I have to objectively remember that I'm passionate about while in the moment of "Holy cats! What is going on?! Stop, life! STOP!"

I don't know. I'm learning rest in God; but even in light of that, feeling full of energy is a gift from Him that I am not entitled to, nor something I can expect at the moment I want it. BUT I can be thankful that His help is sure, that I don't have to be worried about things beyond the moment I have allotted to work on them, that all I can do is my best and He is in control.

These things I know.

But there are still days like today just after which I can only make one face. It is this: O_O


(AND, btw, I am so excited to see Nanako and Yuuki, two friends from my summer in Japan, this weekend! YAY! I'll be able to express more of that excitement on my face tomorrow morning...)