Work in Progress

So here I am...two days before I leave for Japan. I have been through so many swings between being nervous and excited that my pendulum is no longer pendulum-ing. It's in the middle...all numb and in shocked disbelief that I'm going to be in a country I don't know with people I don't know and customs that I'm not used to...and people I want to be vulnerable with.

I would very easily beat myself up for not completely and totally focusing on God in this...There is some truth to that. A lot of truth to that...BUT I know that this is a big thing. I know that I am a work in progress. I know that God is doing things in my heart and in the hearts of my teammates to prepare us...things greater than anything I could ask or imagine. My security begins here. It begins in the grace that I have that makes me able to laugh at my weaknesses, knowing that I have the hope of glory. It begins in the knowledge of my identity in Christ, already robed in His righteousness. It begins in the good works that He has set before me and has prepared me for. He turns my attention to these things and I am comforted and fortified in the love of Christ. I have faith that He will continue to do this and that I will learn.

Let me be found a liar, and He be found the Truth. Let me be found faithless, and my God faithful. Let me be the clay, and He the Potter. Let me be the daughter, and He my Mighty Father.

This is how I want to enter the country of Japan:

-without confidence in myself, but with every confidence in Christ
-with an attitude of thankfulness for a place (and people) who are without worship in which I can worship (because the glory of God is worthy)
-with thankfulness for the opportunity to learn from different people who are uniquely made in God's image
-with an assured hope in God's promise to do great and mighty things
-with an expectation to see Him in the unexpected
-with a sense of humor about myself and my weaknesses, which allows me to be wrong and learn from others
-with love that is willing to endure when it is difficult or inconvenient (for my teammates and for others)
-with a flexible attitude that eagerly serves the staff and supports their existing ministry

That's kind of a long list...and there's more I would like to grow into...so I guess in all this, the most essential thing is that I have faith in God's promises, hope in His glory, and love for Him and His commandments...

I am a work in progress. I am not perfect...not even good...or satisfactory. BUT He loves me and provides. For that I love to worship Him.

Mighty to Save

Everyone needs compassion
Love that’s never failing
Let mercy fall on me
Everyone needs forgiveness
The kindness of a Savior
The hope of nations


Savior
He can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
Forever
Author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave


So take me as You find me
All my fears and failures
Fill my life again
I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in
Now I surrender


Shine Your light and let the whole world see
We’re singing
For the glory of the risen King



Sing it, Hillsong. I love this song.

Melancholy

The pathway is broken
And The signs are unclear
And I don't know the reason why You brought me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I'm gonna walk through the valley
If You want me to

Cause I'm not who I was
When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise You're not through with me yet
so if all of these trials bring me closer to you
Then I will go through the fire
If You want me to

It may not be the way I would have chosen
When you lead me through a world that's not my home
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I'd never go alone

So When the whole world turns against me
And I'm all by myself
And I can't hear You answer my cries for help
I'll remember the suffering Your love put You through
And I will go through the darkness If You want me to

When I cross over Jordan, I'm gonna sing, gonna shout
Gonna look into your eyes and see you never let me down
So take me on the pathway that leads me home to you
And I will walk through the valley if you want me to

Yes, I will walk through the valley if you want me to


I love this song by Ginny Owens. It's simple and melancholy and true. I like when songs are simple and melancholy and true. Also, I tend to get sad when a lot of changes come my way. There are a lot of changes in my life right now...but He has me where He wants me. And that's the best place to be. So I will be melancholy, but secure in Him.

If My Soul Is Downcast In Me

If my soul is downcast in me
And sorrow fills my view
Would You speak Your words into me
And not stop till I am healed?

O would that I could reach out
One trembling, powerless hand
And touch Your robe of glory
My strength would be renewed

What is the width and length?
How deep and how high?
Your love reaches from the heavens
And draws me ever nigh

In this love I find my anchor
And search for this one truth
That You would stop at nothing
Your death and sufferings are the proof

And so in every sorrow
At Your throne of grace I kneel
More eager than I could imagine
Is Your readiness to heal




I have been writing a lot of songs lately.

Skat of the Brain

Skat man doo

Juxtaposition

Tweedly-she boo

Sing a little rendition

Scroodle she bow

Wish I weren’t studying Titian

She be doo pow

Crow’s feet

Bay wow wow

Enzymes secrete

Kalamazoo

I knew a guy named Pete.

Excellence

Thoughts on and notes from Becoming a Woman of Excellence by Cynthia Heald (First Study: "The Goal Worth Pursuing"):

"And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in real knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve the things that are excellent, in order to remain aincere and blameless until the day of Christ."

-Philippians 1:9,10

Motivation: to point to the glory of God (1 Corinthians 10:31)

To be excellent, dwell on excellent things. (Philippians 4:8)

If there is one thing worthy of excellence (worthy of my best at the moment and my desire and pursuit to become better), it is loving God, and then loving others. (Matthew 22:36-39)

How do we receive power to become better? To fill our mind with excellent things? From God, asking Him through prayer. Pray this for ourselves and for others: that we may be filled with the knowledge of His will so that we can walk in a manner pleasing and worthy of the Lord, bear fruit, and increase in the knowledge of God Himself. (Colossians 1:9,10)

Also, Isaiah 43:10: He proclaims us as His witnesses so that we may know Him, believe Him, and understand that He is who He says He is.

Let us be diligent in these things: to come before the Lord, never being bound to shame, allowing ourselves to be approved to God as His workmen, pursuing accuracy in handling the truth. (2 Timothy 2:15)

Let us dwell on the word of truth so that we can handle it with accuracy and give opportunity through obedience for God to reveal His truth and power. With His Word we shall renew our minds to be strong in the Lord and for the Lord, emptying ourselves and presenting ourselves as clean vessels, ready and equipped to do the will of God.

"Exellence is not perfection, but essentially a desire to be strong in the Lord and for the Lord."

-Cynthia Heald

"Do we so appreciate the marvelous salvation of Jesus Christ that we are our utmost for His highest?"

-Oswald Chambers

Goal: to be diligent in pursuing the meaning of excellence and how to live it out as a woman.

"I know of no other single practice in the Christian life more rewarding, practically speaking, than memorizing Scripture. That's right. No other single discipline is more useful and rewarding than this. No other single exercise pays greater spiritual dividends! Your mind will become alert and observant. Your confidence and assurance will be enhanced. Your faith will be solidified."

-Charles R. Swindoll

25 Things I Love

In honor of my 25th post and because I saw other people do this...


25 things I love:

1. Sitting barefoot in very thick, very green grass
2. Laying on my back, looking at a clear sky full of stars
3. Amazing quiet times with my God
4. Driving with one hand out the window
5. Doing things even when I'm scared (adventures)
6. Long talks in coffee shops
7. The Office
8. Reading people's blogs
9. Babies
10. Photo albums (I buy them faster than I can fill them)
11. Flowers
12. Kittens and puppies (classic, I know)
13. Cute coffee mugs
14. Singing worship songs (and playing them on the piano)
15. Spending entire days with friends
16. Hugs
17. Random conversations
18. Traveling
19. Italian
20. Japanese
21. Sleepovers
22. Really good movies
23. Really good books
24. Jane Austen


*drum roll*


25. The feeling after finals are over...almost there!