Dear Santa

Dear Santa,

Can the world have more episodes of The Office that are just the right amount of awkward? Can people automatically know what I mean when I ask if they're a Fanilow? Can plastic coverings on couches be abolished? Can Diane Lane star in a movie in which she does not go through a break-up? Can boyfriends actually want to watch a Nicolas Sparks film every once and a while? Can burritos have the same amount of calories as broccoli? Can workout videos become cool again (minus the leg warmers, please)? Can Home Fries air on Stars more than once a decade? Can I automatically have a secret handshake with everyone I meet? Can I wait to pay at the grocery store without feeling guilty for being to lazy to bag my own groceries? Can strange women distributing swords from lakes again be a binding basis for government? Can Dutch be the universal language? Can Tina Fey start scripting my day? Can Jimmy Falon co-star in my day? Can those Head-On commercials implode on themselves? Can Pluto be a planet again? Can my lipstick finally be the right shade? Can there be more sweater vests in the world? Can Phoenix do a gay-best-friend-style makeover on Tucson?

Please and thank you.

Say, "Hi," to Will Ferrell for me.

Ashley


I don't know if anyone reads the letters in the Macy's Santa drop box thing, but this is what I'm considering for a submission.

New favorite words...and old ones I never really thought about...

antediluvian: literally, before the flood. as in ancient.
caprice: impulse. it's funny because capers were considered to be aphrodisiacs.
craven: cowardly. And quoth the craven nevermore.
diffident: modest. I'm not cool, I'm just diffident.
disparaging: belittling. I knew this word, but never thought about it much. It's cool because "dis-" means "not" or "making not", and the root comes from the same as the Italian "paragone", meaning "comparison". Therefore, to disparage something or someone is to act as if or to declare it as not equal or comparable to its peer. It's a pretty intense word, actually.
dissemble: to conceal one's real motive. It has the same root as the Italian "sembrare", meaning "to seem". Thus, the word means "to make seem as not".
equivocal: ambiguous. From the same root as "quiver".
extant: still existing. "ex-" meaning "out" and "-ant" makes it a noun. Thus, it means "the thing that is out".
peccadillo: small sin or fault. from "peccato", or "sin", which comes from "cadere", or "to fall".
tirade: an angry speech. from the same as "tirare", meaning "to tear".
volatile: explosive, fickle. from the same as "volare", meaning "to fly".


Esoteric words are not that intimidating when you see how people made them up. Then it's kind of funny.


I'm studying for the GRE.

Quindici libri...Fifteen books...

Rules: Don't take too long to think about it. List 15 books you've read that WILL ALWAYS STICK WITH YOU. They should be the first 15 you can recall in no more than 15 minutes.

1. The Divine Comedy by Dante Alighieri. Just amazing.
2. A Room with a View by EM Forester. I read it here in Florence. :)
3. Persuasion by Jane Austen. I'm reading it here in Florence. :)
4. Wieland by Charles Brockden Brown
5. Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
6. Metamorphoses by Ovid
7. When I Don't Desire God: How to Fight for Joy by John Piper
8. Becoming a Woman of Freedom by Cynthia Heald
9. The Twilight Saga by Stephanie Meyer
10. Sprezzatura: 50 Ways Italian Genius Shaped the World by Peter D'Epiro and Mary Desmond
11. The Turn of the Screw by Henry James
12. Little Women by Louisa May Alcott
13. The Anne of Green Gables series by Lucy Maud Montgomery
14. Number the Stars by Louis Lowry
15. Island of the Blue Dolphins by Scott O'Dell

Boldness

Looking, I cannot find
The threat that so easily filled my mind
Where is your sting, O Death?

Recalling, I cannot seem
To fully remember that frightening dream
Where is your sting, O Death?

Finding that you have been conquered
You shall never reign here
Finding that you have been conquered
And my Lord wipes away every tear

Singing, I can lift my voice
As Courage and Strength control my choice
Here in His presence is Life

Dancing, I always shall be
Behind the all-powerful walls of victory
Here, in praise, O Life!

Strength

More than You I loved my strength
Please show me how to live
As if it were forever true
That all my weakness You forgive

More than this You delight
In every "impossible" thing
And long to display Your power
As to You I cling

I choose my weakness over strength
So that I can love You more
And I will ever even boast
As on Your wings I soar

Weakness

Beautiful weakness, leave me not
Help me to understand
Life is more than "ought"
More than expectations
And all that I've been taught

Do not turn, my struggling soul
To hardness in your defense
Rather, trust in God, my soul
And not self-recompense

Softness stay
Leave bitterness behind
Meekness stand
And in your beautiful weakness find
His strength, and to it bind
My heart and soul and mind

Misplaced Love

Tell me, show me
What do I love more than You?
That my eyes remain here
Seeing only the pollution of worry
What do I love more than You?
That my heart remains here
Unawakened by Your grace and mercy
What do I love more than You?
That my thoughts remain here
Reluctant to think upon imperishable things
What do I love more than You?
That my hands remain here
Unwilling to hold Yours

Misplaced love
Careless sight
Fix your eyes above
On the warming light
Which heals the heart
And pierces the dark
In this you can stay
Gazing on Him
Always

Fear and Hope

With faces covered by our hands
We walk alongside
Those others in sightless trance
And in self-made darkness, we abide

Hearing one voice cry out
Of the unknown space
In desperation she shouts
With hands covering her face

Will no one let down
Their fingers from their eyes
Stooping for the crown
That in its glory always tries
To help the one, in vain, who cries

There is but One
From Whom help arrives
Seek, find the One
Who saves our lives

There! He knocks!
With free, unburdened hand
Blessed is the one who unlocks
The key to their hands
To gaze upon
The most beautiful face
Put down your hands!
Let your fingers unlace!

The woman has found
The strength to let down
Her fleshly gates
Knowing only grace waits
And opening eyes
She sees and she cries
Tears of great joy
That never shall cloy
As He grasps her hands
And tells her of plans
Of peace and His love
And His Helper Dove

Now she sees
We waste away our lives
With trembling hands
Covering our eyes

The greatest news in all the world is that there is no final conflict between my passion for joy and God's passion for his glory.

WOW.

John Piper speaking truth.

I just read this article by John Piper entitled "The Goal of God's Love May Surprise You" (which contained the title of my blog).

For a while now I've been thinking hard about God's love. What the heck do we do with it. How can we do anything to pay Him back...or demonstrate it....or show Him how much we love Him in return?

How....

David wanted to build a temple. God denied Him, but granted that through David's line the temple would be built...and that God would be with David forever.

David know the presence of the Lord was his good...and was the one best thing.

"ONE THING I have asked from the LORD, that I shall seek, that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD, and to meditate in His temple." (Psalm 27:4)

David's deepest joy was in God's love...not in the pursuit of loving Him back.


Paul wrote, "For me to live is Christ and to die is gain." (Philippians 1:21)

Though he knew his labor on earth would be fruitful and profitable for many, he knew his deepest joy was found with Christ in full revelation of His glory--not in what he could do for Christ.

It feels sometimes like sometimes I'm trying sooooooo hard to hug God, but I can't even get my arms around His pinky. Not even close. There's just not enough of me to love God through obedience...or expression....or anything. I just have to let myself be enveloped in the unfathomable greatness of His love, not even being able to see all of it....let alone imitate it well enough to get joy from my own efforts.


"God demonstrates His own love for us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans 5:8)

"For I say that Christ has become a servant to the circumcision on behalf of the truth of God to confirm the promises given to the fathers, and for the Gentiles to glorify God for His mercy." (Romans 15:8,9a)

"I will give thanks to you, O Lord my God, with all my heart, And will glorify Your name forever. For Your lovingkindness toward me is great, And You have delivered my soul from the depths of Sheol." (Psalm 86:12,13)

Nanako and Yuuki in California!

A list about this weekend!!!

I loved:

-Seeing Nanako and Yuuki!!!!
-Seeing Liz and Susan!!!!
-Going rollerskating with them and Liz
-BONFIRE!
-Talking with Joni and Joanna about Japan
-Joni's amazing apartment and her car
-Driving in Joni's car (named Tex) behind a trailer with "Big Tex" painted on it
-Talking with Susan, Liz, Yuuki, Walter, Amy, and Joanna at the bonfire
-Looking for seashells (kai wa totemo kirei kata yo!)
-Playing frisbee at the beach
-Talking about Arnold Schwartzeneggar commercials for California in Japan (He speaks Japanese in them!!! California nandemo aru-fornia--I think that's how it goes...haha :)
-Attending UC Irvine Navs
-Meeting many new wonderful people!
-Talking about Japan
-Talking in Japanese
-Laughing in Joni's apartment with Nanako, Yuuki, Joni, Joanna, and Liz
-Randomly seeing Italian people every time I went to the airport O_O


I told you people I would be more excited after sleeping... :D

Cho tanoshikata yo!

Nanako to Yuuki!!!! California ni kitekurete arigatou!!!!

A Day...

Prayer, communication, classes, exam, Italian resume, Italian tutoring, trying to speak in Italian and English at the same time (to two different people), EDGE Corps interview, coordination for going to California this weekend, packing for California this weekend, driving between my mom's house and school...

Today was sort of intense. Good. Busy. Draining. Productive. A little nerve-wracking.

In Japan, one of the staff asked me, "Wouldn't you rather be tired from doing good than from doing evil?" Yes. Yes, I would. But I'd much rather not be exhausted. Lately I've been contemplating this...

I know today looked the way it was supposed to look...and was full of many exciting things. Things I have to objectively remember that I'm passionate about while in the moment of "Holy cats! What is going on?! Stop, life! STOP!"

I don't know. I'm learning rest in God; but even in light of that, feeling full of energy is a gift from Him that I am not entitled to, nor something I can expect at the moment I want it. BUT I can be thankful that His help is sure, that I don't have to be worried about things beyond the moment I have allotted to work on them, that all I can do is my best and He is in control.

These things I know.

But there are still days like today just after which I can only make one face. It is this: O_O


(AND, btw, I am so excited to see Nanako and Yuuki, two friends from my summer in Japan, this weekend! YAY! I'll be able to express more of that excitement on my face tomorrow morning...)

Regional Conference, Righteousness, and Other Stuff

So every year the Sunland Navigators have a regional conference in Pine Valley, California. This year was amazing. The theme was remembering.

A Few Highlights:

-Riding in the car with Ashley Stephenson on the way to California :)
-Kyu Ho's talk on Friday night about the righteousness we have through Christ
-Seeing friends from my time in Japan
-SWEET time in the Word with Jesus
-Breakfast with Krista Morrison, my Bible study leader from last year
-Clarity and guidance for future plans
-Lunch with some sophomores from UA, Diana, and Kyu Ho, his wife Tara (I think), and their daughter
-San Diego beach with a couple sophomores from UA, Ashley Stephenson, and Kyleigh
-Dinner with people who love Japan, people who are interested in Japan, and lots of Japan-related conversation
-Seeing Susan! Que surprise!
-Meeting and talking with Nana, a foreign exchange student from Chuo University in Tokyo, where we did BEST club over the summer
-a workshop on girl/guy relationships led by Dustin and Lori Butler
-hugging and praying with Liz at 1:30am
-Every school cheering for University of Hawaii (new ministry, first conference) :)


A couple shots of us jumping on the beach:

From Left to right: Kyleigh, Kat, me, Ashley S., and Angela

And: Kyleigh, Me, Angela, Kat

I loved it. ^_^

Score Sauce.

:D

^_^


My face now that I have finished the application for Italy.

How lovely progress is!

Now to Edge. Goin' off momentum...



Oh! and:

"Do not rejoice over me, O my enemy.
Though I fall I will rise;
Though I dwell in darkness, the LORD is a light for me.
I will bear the indignation of the LORD
Because I have sinned against Him,
Until He pleads my case and executes justice for me.
He will bring me out to the light,
And I will see His righteousness.
Then my enemy will see,
And shame will cover her who said to me,
'Where is the LORD your God?'
My eyes will look on her;
And that time she will be trampled down
Like mire of the streets."
--Micah 7:8-10


VICTORY!

Applicazioni

Applications...

>_<

O_O

>_<

O_O

>_<

O_O


That's what my face looks like when I'm working on them. They take a brand of concentration that an ENFP just doesn't have sometimes...

O Weary Wanderer

O weary wanderer
Come and lay your head on the pillow
Of the softest words I speak

O weary wanderer
Come and rest with Me and take the sandals
From your battered feet


For this place is holy
Let Me wash your feet
And as I wash them
I'll let you cry


O weary wanderer
Come and hide in this secret place
Within My sacred walls

Here, weary wanderer
I comfort you and catch every tear
That you let fall


For this place is holy
Let Me wash your feet
And as I wash them
I'll let you cry

ITALIA in English

So...I'm going to Italy this summer for the whole month of July. My grandma (on my father's side) is paying for the trip--for the flight, the little optional trips around Italy, for my food, for spending money...everything. I'm speechless...I didn't think it was possible to go to Italy this soon...

I will live in Florence...and I will walk to the Duomo every day. I will go to Rome and Venice...

Unbelievable.

(This is where I appologized for the language of the post...but said it is appropriate to write in the language I will speak in Italy. And I told you all to learn Italian.)


:D


Then here's a piccolo poem I wrote in Italian...



O la gloria che il Signore ha fatto
E tutto e' vinto per la Sua grazia
O questa grazia che spero che l'avro' imparato
Quando io vedro' la Sua faccia

(O the glory that the Lord has made (or accomplished)
And all is won through His grace
O this grace that I hope to have learned
When I see His face)


Perche' nel Suo cospetto
C'e' la verita'
Che da Lui sono accetta
Quest'e' la verita'

(For in His presence
There is truth
That in Him I'm accepted
This is the truth)

O la salvazione che il Signore ha fatto
Quando usci' dal cielo
Dal trono che ha lasciato
A portare un regalo cosi' bello bello

(O the salvation that the Lord has made (or accomplished)
When He came down from heaven
From His throne that He left
To bring us such a beautiful gift)

Perche' nel Suo cospetto
C'e' la verita'
Che da Lui sono accetta
Quest'e' la verita'

Con la Tua mano
Che mostra i segni d'amore
E' cosi vicino
E da un sigillo sul mio cuore

(With Your hand
That shows the signs of love
Is so near
And sets a seal on my heart)


"Sono stato crucifisso con Cristo. Non sono piu' io che vivo, ma Cristo vive in me; e la vita che vivo ora nella carne, la vivo nella fede nel Figlio di Dio, il quale che mi ha amato e ha dato se' stesso per me."
-Galati 2:20

(I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.
--Galatians 2:20)

ITALIA

Allora...Andro' in Italia quest'estate. Per tutto il mese di luglio. La mia nonna sta pagando per il mio viaggio--per tutto--che include il viaggio in aereo, i piccoli viaggi volontari mentre sono in Italia, per il mio cibo, i miei soldi per spendere...tutto. Sono senza parole...non pensavo che fosse possibile andare in Italia cosi presto...

Anche, vivro' a Firenze...camminero' al Duomo ogni giorno. Viaggero' a Roma ed a Venezia. Incredibile.

Mi dispiace la lingua di questa posta...ma...e' appropriato usare la lingua in cui si parla in Italia perche' ci viaggero'. Imparate l'italiano.

:D

O la gloria che il Signore ha fatto
E tutto e' vinto per la Sua grazia
O questa grazia che spero che l'avro' imparato
Quando io vedro' la Sua faccia

Perche' nel Suo cospetto
C'e' la verita'
Che da Lui sono accetta
Quest'e' la verita'

O la salvazione che il Signore ha fatto
Quando usci' dal cielo
Dal trono che ha lasciato
A portare un regalo cosi' bello bello

Perche' nel Suo cospetto
C'e' la verita'
Che da Lui sono accetta
Quest'e' la verita'

Con la Tua mano
Che mostra i segni d'amore
E' cosi vicino
E da un sigillo sul mio cuore


"Sono stato crucifisso con Cristo. Non sono piu' io che vivo, ma Cristo vive in me; e la vita che vivo ora nella carne, la vivo nella fede nel Figlio di Dio, il quale che mi ha amato e ha dato se' stesso per me."
-Galati 2:20

Hosea 2:14-23

"Therefore, behold, I will allure her, Bring her into the wilderness And speak kindly to her.
"Then I will give her her vineyards from there, And the valley of Achor as a door of hope. And she will sing there as in the days of her youth, As in the day when she came up from the land of Egypt.
"It will come about in that day," declares the LORD, "That you will call Me Ishi And will no longer call Me Baali.
"For I will remove the names of the Baals from her mouth, So that they will be mentioned by their names no more.
"In that day I will also make a covenant for them With the beasts of the field, The birds of the sky And the creeping things of the ground. And I will abolish the bow, the sword and war from the land, And will make them lie down in safety.
"I will betroth you to Me forever ; Yes, I will betroth you to Me in righteousness and in justice, In lovingkindness and in compassion,
And I will betroth you to Me in faithfulness. Then you will know the LORD.
"It will come about in that day that I will respond," declares the LORD. "I will respond to the heavens, and they will respond to the earth,
And the earth will respond to the grain, to the new wine and to the oil, And they will respond to Jezreel.
"I will sow her for Myself in the land. I will also have compassion on her who had not obtained compassion, And I will say to those who were not My people, 'You are My people !' And they will say, 'You are my God !' "