Dear Santa

Dear Santa,

Can the world have more episodes of The Office that are just the right amount of awkward? Can people automatically know what I mean when I ask if they're a Fanilow? Can plastic coverings on couches be abolished? Can Diane Lane star in a movie in which she does not go through a break-up? Can boyfriends actually want to watch a Nicolas Sparks film every once and a while? Can burritos have the same amount of calories as broccoli? Can workout videos become cool again (minus the leg warmers, please)? Can Home Fries air on Stars more than once a decade? Can I automatically have a secret handshake with everyone I meet? Can I wait to pay at the grocery store without feeling guilty for being to lazy to bag my own groceries? Can strange women distributing swords from lakes again be a binding basis for government? Can Dutch be the universal language? Can Tina Fey start scripting my day? Can Jimmy Falon co-star in my day? Can those Head-On commercials implode on themselves? Can Pluto be a planet again? Can my lipstick finally be the right shade? Can there be more sweater vests in the world? Can Phoenix do a gay-best-friend-style makeover on Tucson?

Please and thank you.

Say, "Hi," to Will Ferrell for me.

Ashley


I don't know if anyone reads the letters in the Macy's Santa drop box thing, but this is what I'm considering for a submission.