Determined Love

"Salvation is from our side a choice, from the divine side it is a seizing upon, an apprehending, a conquest by the Most High God. Our ''accepting'' and ''willing'' are reactions rather than actions. The right of determination must always remain with God."

-A.W. Tozer

I just love this quote by Tozer. Golly bob, it's so true. Thank You, my God, for acting--for loving me with a determined love, and for captivating my heart.

My Help

"In my distress I called upon the LORD, And cried to my God for help; He heard my voice out of His temple, And my cry for help before Him came into His ears."

-Psalm 18:6

I say to the Lord, "You are my good; I love Your presence, for it is in the dry land that I feel Your sustaining power. It is in the awareness of my weakness that I see Your unfailing salvation. It is in the depravity of my soul that I see Your beautiful holiness. You deliver me to Your shelter--to the calming shade beneath Your wings. You alone are powerful, my God, You alone are good. I have seen my weakness and my heart has wandered from You, but Your faithfulness is unfailing. Your mercies, my Savior, are new every morning. I stand with a desperately thankful heart for Your lovingkindness. You, my God, are great. You, my Lord, are my Help."

The Lord says, "I love you. Nothing could separate you from my love. I love you forever. I have made you so that I could have your heart and will let none other take it from me. I alone have rescued you. I alone am your God. I alone possess your heart and have bought it with my Son. I do everything in my power to rescue and save you and bring you to eternal glory with Me. I will love you forever in My temple and will speak into Your heart and establish my throne there forever."

My heart sings with joy through troubles and hardship, for my heart belongs forever to my God. My joy is complete.

Love and Glory

"We have thought on Your lovingkindness, O God, in the midst of Your temple."
-Psalm 48:9

O Father, may I take time to dwell on and drink in Your love, for Your compassion on me is great. I praise You and thank You that I can come into Your temple. I can live in Your courts. I can come into Your presence to experience the incomparable fruits of Your lovingkindness. Ephesians says that I have access to every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms because of You, Jesus. Not only do I have knowledge of this, but I can think on Your love in the midst of Your temple! How great is this love You have lavished on me!

"Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: "For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered." No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord "

-Romans 8:35-39

O Mighty One, my God who holds me fast with a love that never fails! You are my desire. You stop at nothing to obtain and keep my ever-wandering heart! You have endured earthly pain. You have gone to the gates of hell. Jesus, You stand in heaven now and confess me before Your Father. Time itself is in Your hands. The winds and the waves obey You, and Your power, Lord, You have given me! You are my strength and my fortress, who shelters me in lovingkindness from which I can never be separated! You love me with power! I confess I cannot love You in such a way, but I praise You because You loved me and died for me in the midst of my sin. In Your infinite and immeasurably faithful love, You have desired my heart. I have nothing to give You but my life in return, which pales in comparison to Your sacrifice. I sacrifice nothing, for I give up what I cannot keep to gain what I cannot lose! Praise be to Your name forever! All glory be ascribed to You, O God! You are great. You are mighty in Your sovereignty and wisdom! Praise and glory! You are so infinitely more than worthy, You who have compassion on Your lost souls. Unfathomable is this love of Yours! I cannot attain to Your knowledge and wisdom. In my weakness, I cannot even respond with the unfailing faith that this should inspire! O Lord, I cannot. You, O Lord are truly faithful. You will never deny Yourself, for You are unchanging. Unchanging are Your love and compassion. Unchanging is Your righteousness. Unchanging are You, my Prince of Peace. My God. My God of beauty and majesty. All praise be to Your name! Be our vision. Be our every thought. Be our life's purpose. Be our Lord, for we are fixed on Your glory. You, God, who stretches out the heavens like a tent. It is You, God whose eyes roam the earth. It is You, God, who ordained the sun to govern the day and the moon for the night. Great and mighty are You! Praise! Honor! Beauty! Majesty! Glory and glory! Glory to You! Gloria a Te, O Dio!

"Tell of His glory among the nations, His wonderful deeds among all the peoples. For great is the LORD, and greatly to be praised; He also is to be feared above all gods."
-1 Chronicles 16:24, 25

Exchanging

Her stiff, unsure steps and downward face showed the utter depths of her shame as she timidly entered the large room. Her long, black hair covered her pained and fearful expression. Wrought from years of social exile and tragedy, the lines of her face reflected the hopelessness she had suffered for so long. Before the death of her husband, public banquets had always been joyful affairs. It had been years since she had dared to venture to any public gathering—let alone a feast hosted by Simon. The Pharisees had openly condemned her. If only, she thought.

Slowly crossing the room she caught the eye of the host, whose piercing gaze communicated a mixture of disdain and disbelief. Her shame doubled. She had searched earnestly for another solution, but the money she needed flowed steadily from the pockets of those that admired her beauty. Her children depended upon her earnings. She had succumbed to her desperation. If only she could find peace in this agony—one hope for an end to her painful captivity. Her one Hope was here.

Glimpsing the Guest of honor, her heart beat a little faster. She had listened desperately, fervently to the messages of this new Rabbi. Exiled and denied friendship and sincere affection, she craved the Teacher’s promise of peace and forgiveness. She craved this promise of merciful love that surpassed any she ever experienced in her married life. If only I could look into His face, she inwardly pled.

Her eyes now fixed on the back of His robe, her heart raced as she drew near. She could no longer hear the hateful words whispered by those who had once called her ‘friend’. Her feet could barely feel their way across the floor. Twice she stumbled. Her breathing turned to frantic sobs. Now just an arm’s length away from Him, she could no longer contain the tears. She fell to His feet. Unable to rise, her tears dropped to form trails in the dust of His feet. She used her hair to wipe away the streaks. The Rabbi stood patiently, looking down with deep compassion.

She began to kiss His feet, letting her gratitude overpower all restraint. This Man had shown her more kindness than she ever believed existed—and he must have known her disgrace. Her shaking hands grasped the alabaster vile around her neck. It contained the last ounce of treasured perfume given to her by her husband—the only lasting remnant of her former life. She gave her heart to her beloved Teacher as she poured the fragrance over his feet.

So captivated was she by her new Treasure that she barely heard Jesus speak to the room of Pharisees. She could feel her acceptance in His presence. His warm gaze was fixed on the top of her head as he spoke sweetly and with audible love, saying, “Your sins have been forgiven.” With eyes clouded with tears, she looked up to meet his, filled with gentle compassion as he continued with tender sincerity, “Your faith has saved you; go in peace.”

(story based on Luke 7:36-50)

Sydney gave this to me...

The Wait Poem by Russell Kelfer

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried; Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied. I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate... and the Master so gently said,"Wait." "Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply. "Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!" Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard? By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.
My future and all to which I relate hangs in the balance and you tell me to Wait?" I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign. Or even a 'no,' to which I'll resign. You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe, We need but to ask, and we shall receive. Lord, I've been asking, and this is my cry: I'm weary of asking! I need a reply.
Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate as my Master replied again, "Wait." So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taught, and grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting...for what?" He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine... and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign. I could shake the heavens and darken the sun. I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.
I could give all you seek and pleased you would be. You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me. You'd not know the depth of My love for each saint. You'd not know the power that I give to the faint. You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair; you'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there. You'd not know the joy of resting in Me when darkness and silence are all you can see.
You'd never experience the fullness of love when the peace of My spirit descends like a dove. You would know that I give, and I save, for a start, But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart. The glow of My comfort late into the night, the faith that I give when you walk without sight. The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask From an infinite God who makes what you have last.
You'd never know should your pain quickly flee, what it means that My grace is sufficient for thee. Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true, but oh, the loss if I lost what I'm doing in you. So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see that the greatest of gifts is to truly know me. And though oft My answers seem terribly late, My most precious answer of all is still "WAIT".

Weakness

"The LORD determined to destroy
The wall of the daughter of Zion.
He has stretched out a line,
He has not restrained His hand from destroying,
And He has caused rampart and wall to lament;
They have languished together.
Her gates has sunk to the ground,
He has destroyed and broken her bars.
Her king and her princes are among the nations;
The law is no more.
Also, her prophets find
No vision from the LORD.
The elders of the daughter of Zion
Sit on the ground, they are silent.
They have thrown dust on their heads;
They have girded themselves with sackcloth.
The virgins of Jerusalem
Have bowed their heads to the ground.
My eyes fail because of tears,
My spirit is greatly troubled;
My heart is poured out on the earth
Because of the destruction of the daughter of my people,
When the little infants faint in the streets of my city."

-Lamentations 2:8-11

"O God, You are my God; I shall seek You earnestly;
My soul thirsts for You, my flesh yearns for You,
In a dry and weary land where there is no water.
THUS I HAVE SEEN YOU IN THE SANCTUARY,
TO SEE YOUR POWER AND YOUR GLORY.
Because Your lovingkindness is better than life,
My lips will praise You.
So I will bless You as long as I live;
I will lift up my hands in Your name.
My soul is satisfies as with marrow and fatness,
And my mouth offers praises with joyful lips.
When I remember You on my bed,
I meditate on You in the night watches,
FOR YOU HAVE BEEN MY HELP,
AND IN THE SHADOW OF YOUR WINGS I SING FOR JOY.
MY SOUL CLINGS TO YOU;
YOUR RIGHT HAND UPHOLDS ME."

-Psalm 63:1-8

"And He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.' Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me."

-2 Corinthians 12:7


It is unceasingly amazing to me every time I see truth throughout Scripture. How many times must I hear the God's strength is perfected in my weakness? How many times must I hear and not truly believe and own this truth? God has pushed me. He has stretched me. He is growing me, this awesome Father I have. To despair He will lead me to capture my heart, my attention, and my weakness. Our need for God is striking. God is moving to make us feel our need.


O Father, how I need You
Grateful am I for grace
My lonely desire to please You
Between You and I adds space

I long for someone to notice
To soothe this ache I bear
Other distractions entice
But show not Your intimate care

Move in this frustrating silence
Your grace is sufficient alone
Despite all outside appearance
In the midst of all that's unknown


I trust You.

TRUTH!

Ah! Okay...just home from Edge Preview...and I will post more later, but here's my last journal entry...God spoke to my heart through another Edger...and it's awesome. She gave me the Revelation verses and my heart rejoiced. Here:

"Then I heard a loud voice in heaven, saying, 'Now the salvation, and the power, and the kingdom of our God and the authority of His Christ have come for the accuser of our brethren has been thrown down, he who accuses them before our God day and night. AND THEY OVERCAME HIM BECAUSE OF THE BLOOD OF THE LAMB AND BECAUSE OF THE WORD OF THEIR TESTIMONY, and they did not love their life even when faced with death."
-Revelation 12:10, 11

TRUTH! YES!

Thank you, Lord, for Dana.

O Truth!
How lovely, divine, and full of grace!
Beauty in the darkest night
My heart sings at the glorious sight
My eyes uplifted to Your long-searched face!

O Spirit!
My inspiration from Authority sovereign
To inward chambers of my heart, my mind
Even mountain tops of my soul You climb
Called to praise this day, and again!

O Power!
How strong, courageous, and giving of peace!
Giving voice to Your story
With conviction and victory
Found perfect in the least of these!